Did You Get Your Latex-Free Gloves? Back-to-school Supplies

My son has a rotating eight day schedule annotated in as many colors. A suggestion is noted in bold on his shopping list:  "Please try to have students color-coordinate their class supplies with their class colors (ex. Yellow Binder for Yellow Math class)." 

This begs the question of course, just what is Yellow Math and is it different from Blue Math? My son has Red Math so should he be alarmed? 

My son and I discussed his schedule hues: royal blue vs. purple and yellow, orange, and tan.  Staples ran out of plastic folders and they had 15 cent paper folders in numerous colors, but we didn't find tan. Brown might work and he subbed black for orange. Pink and green were for specials like art and music, and gray was the only color which made sense.

Gray was reserved for whatever: assemblies, workshops, health class. Dubious, changing, the combination of black and white, gray was a color that merited its name. The color scheme is designed to help students remember which class they have and what they need.

Staples "Better Binder" which starts at $9.99

Two boys settled onto desk chairs by Staples' entrance, Sit 'n Spin skills in full force. I lost track of time and my daughter didn’t need or appreciate my input on her supply list. So when the spinners’ mother collected them at the door, I swooped into the seat to watch the chaos.

It was the day before school starts.

My children finished and we joined the line which extended to the back wall, scurrying enough to beat four families. We counted ten buyers ahead of us and three cashiers.  We got to the head of the line in ten minutes.

The manager directed customers to open cashiers.  I told him this was quite a line, I appreciated the pink duct tape on the floor directing us where to stand, but most importantly, I’m sure he liked hearing my final comment.  “You beat the post office.  It took me 26 minutes for 9 people and your line took one customer per minute.”  (See Going Postal - Miss Trunchbull & the Chokey to appreciate government tax dollars at work). 

He smiled and said, “Oh, we’re not the post office, but funny you say that.  We’re putting in a post office here.”

Would this improve service or slow down service time? That depends on whether the government will be involved. 

The supplies for this visit costs upwards of $90 and this was the third visit. The cost for everything is outrageous. There’s a school in India we support for a $1 a day and the teacher holds class beneath a tree. I’m not sure about the quality of instruction but I receive well written letters from the teachers.   

Let me share something else which might be useful.

Did you get your box of latex-free gloves? 

They're on the end of the far right aisle at Staples and they come in four varieties:  latex-free, powder free, nitrile, and textured. If I saw ribbed for her pleasure, I would refuse to be part of this. 

Latex Powder Free AND Textured

The words "exam gloves" were on each box and the association with the doctor's office made me cringe. The item seemed innocent enough on the supply list.  Nitrile, if you are curious, is defined as nitrile rubber which is preferred because it's synthetic.  Students with latex allergies despair not! 

Two of my children are in middle school and their supply lists consist of one typed page. Here's a relief: it includes all classes. This is a product of Kaizen at work in the schools, parents driving quality improvement year over year.

We stand on the shoulders of giants.

Yet I wonder.  Did the parents of yesteryear need exam gloves too? or Post-it notes, hand sanitizer, and a 16 gigabyte flash drive? 

And now that we have color coded supplies and latex-free gloves, are the results any better?

(Read letters:  Politically Correct Fractions and Literary Analysis or Amateur Psychology?)

 

 

Elegant Sentences, Express Ideas and Make an Impact

I am not a grammarian but I love words, their arrangement and sound, the infinite combinations and uses, their impact.

Words are responsible for founding our country, We the people; for ending a war, Tear down this wall; for perhaps the most intimate and familiar of all, the vows uniting two into one, I do.




President Ronald Reagan speaking at the Brandenburg Gate (White House Photo)

There is a force or person behind words which when spoken change a message's tone and meaning.  But words are what we hear, what we read, and when the moment is gone, all that remains are the words. 

As you return to work, to school, to the routine and the daily grind, consider improving your writing for it can be one of the most powerful tools in your toolbox.  Sharpening the axe (Back to school parable link) in the Age of Information has a lot to do with writing, because many and maybe even most of our interactions with people in our career and life will be through written communication. 

WARNING.  If you get queasy at the thought of grammar, do not fear; this is not a grammar lesson.  If you do NOT wish to improve your writing, then stop here.  However, if you seek personal improvement and wish to write effective and elegant sentences, then read on.

Professor Brooks Landon from the notable writing institution University of Iowa has taught some 30 years and teaches a popular writing course, Building Great Sentences.  One can write short sentences and learning to do so, is simply that, by doing.  Jane ran.  Birds Fly. Short sentences are powerful and compelling: Jesus wept.

Building great sentences, "master sentences" as Landon calls them, is more involved. And it is this course which I found more valuable and immediately impactful than any writing class, program, or book.

Understanding these concepts help you sharpen your writer's axe.

The Difference Between Grammar and Rhetoric

Grammar                                           Rhetoric
Machinery of a sentence                     How sentences work, their motive and impact

 

Landon said, “Effectiveness and elegance in writing are both rhetorical issues and grammar alone can lead us to neither.”  Grammar is how a sentence operates, but the rhetoric is how we express ideas and how they make an impact. 

I will share this again, “Effectiveness and elegance in writing are both rhetorical issues and grammar alone can lead us to neither.” 

 A Sentence Reflects Three Choices

Sentences are the building block of all writing, if you master the sentence then your writing improves.  So it's important to understand that a sentence reflects three choices. 

1. What we want to say/accomplish   (propositions)
2. Which words to use                       (vocabulary)
3. What order to put them in              (syntax)

Example:

“Invisible God created the visible world.”  Port Royal Grammar 1660

There are 3 underlying mental realities to this sentence.  The words on the page are only what we physically see.  Propositions are basic elementary statements that can’t be broken into constituent parts. 

1)      God is invisible

2)      The world is visible

3)      God created the world

These three propositions are made using six words.  The words used are precise and the syntax or order is artful and balanced. 

Gertrude Stein said, “Why should a sequence of words be anything but a pleasure?”  If we change the order or the words, this question is not as elegant or effective.  Think of a few of the many, many different ways she might have written this sentence:

Why should a sequence of words not be a pleasure?
 

Shouldn’t a sequence of words always give pleasure?

Words in sequence should always give pleasure.

We should always find pleasure in a sequence of words.

And so on.  Stein advances a number of propositions, but these alternatives are not as effective or elegant. 

Consider this sentence from Mark Twain's The Prince and Pauper.

Mark Twain:    “Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee; but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.” (Prince & Pauper, p. 175, ch 28 “The Sacrifice”)

What is Twain saying?  Here are the propositions of this sentence.

1) King can’t honor thee (refers to Miles )      

2) Miles has a good soul                     

3) Miles has a great soul

4) One (or God) is higher than kings

5) God has honored thee

6) King can honor Miles to men (on earth)

Word choice is precise.  What other vocabulary or substitution would be as powerful to support these propositions?

Order:  Proposition #1, 2, & 3  lead to 4&5, ultimately 6.    

***  This sentence is effective AND elegant.  ***

The Sacrifice: Miles Hendon takes the prince's lashes

Now Sharpen Your Axe

When reading, look at sentences, especially of writing you like.  If something resonates with you in particular, whether it made you laugh, cringe, or think, ask yourself what the writer is saying in that sentence, why those words, and the specific order she used them.  

When you write your next letter, note, or report, consider first what it is you wish to say, second what are the best words to use, and third what order to use.  

After completing Landon's course, for the first time I understand why a sentence is good, great, or even masterful. Doing so makes me a better reader and writer.

 

The Woodcutter's Tale, a Back-to-School Parable

 Once upon a time, there lived a woodcutter who went into the forest to chop down wood.  He felled 18 trees that day and brought them to the timber merchant.
 
"You are the best woodcutter around," the merchant said and gave him his pay.
 
The second day, the woodcutter went into the woods to begin his work, but by midday had only taken down 8 trees.  He worked through lunch and his breaks.  But all told, he had only 15 trees to sell to the merchant.
 
"Well, you are still a strong axeman and here is your pay."
 
The woodcutter told his wife about this and they agreed he would eat early and get going before sunrise. 

The third day he began chopping at first light, continued through lunch and into dusk.  He cut down only 12 trees.  He was worried the merchant might not be pleased.
 
"You disappoint me, but I know what you can do."

Now the woodcutter began to worry as he looked over his pay, less than he made just two days before and for more work. He and his wife decided he needed go to sleep earlier and eat more for his strength, so they scraped together extra food for him and packed a larger meal for lunch.  The woodcutter felt strong that morning.

On the fourth day even with the extra food and long hours, he had chopped down just 9 trees.  He hung his head, exhausted.  "I must be losing my strength," he said, "and I fear the merchant will fire me."

It was so late he did not make it to the merchant until the next day.

"I'm sorry, but I must ask for my axe back," said the timber merchant.  "I have others who want to work and will provide more trees."

It was as the woodcutter feared.  He gave him his axe.

One look at the axe and the merchant said, "Is this what you have been using?  When was the last time you sharpened your axe?"


"I never sharpened the axe," said the woodcutter. "I put all my time into chopping down trees."

Whiteboard in our "Treehouse" of an axe as a reminder to keep it sharp

I tell this story to my children each year at the beginning of school.  Sharpening the axe as students includes things like better planning and learning how to learn. My children discovered putting in more time helps, but not always.

Thinking. 

Stopping to think is the easiest and most overlooked skill.  During their year of homeschool, they met once a week to "Sharpen the axe" and discuss what each was working on and ideas for improvement and change.

Abraham Lincoln grew up with an axe in his hand; early in life he helped build his own home as well as many rail fences.  Though he did not say it, this quote is often attributed to him for his work ethic and leadership.

"Give me six hours to cut down a tree and I will spend my first four sharpening the axe."

Lincoln portrayed with his ax in an early 20th century painting by F.A. Schneider.

The Age of Insolence & PC Nursery Rhymes

The stair and attic lights were on when I went upstairs.  I whispered goodnight to my daughter, then reminded her she left the lights on.

"David and Laura left them on," she said.

I walked to David's room and told him to turn off the lights. "Why me?" he said. "I didn't leave them on."

David didn't move. We bantered back and forth over who was in the attic, when they were there, why they were there, when they left, and in what sequence.  I studied the ceiling to gather my wits, not wanting to waste more words on a 30 second task.

"When I tell you to do something," I said, "you do it.  Whether that means to lock the doors, clean up a mess, turn off the attic lights or every light in the whole house.

"Say your prayers tonight.  Ask for forgiveness for refusing to do what your mother asked, a simple task. When you wake tomorrow, you will behave like a good boy."

During this lecture, Laura turned off the attic lights. When I left, I noticed the hall closet light on and returned to his room.

"Go turn off the closet light." 

He threw back his covers and walked down the hall to turn off the closet light.  I saw tears glisten on his cheeks in the faint glow. I watched him pass, an amorphous dark being, escaping a tyrant, seeking the comfort of his bed.

I had the urge to thank him but I didn't. Thank him!?!  What has the world come to?  Why should we thank our children for doing what they are supposed to do, what they should do, what WE have done for them oh-too-long? 

What a sad state we've gotten ourselves into. 

Old woman who lived in a shoe, notice her switch

Which reminds me of the little old lady who lived in a shoe, a rhyme which has taken on new meaning as a parent, a rhyme which has "evolved" with the political correctness of the times. The "whipp'd bums" of yesterday become "kissed" cheeks of today.  Here it is in its early and modern versions.


One of the earliest versions:

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
She whipp'd all their bums, and sent them to bed. 
*Source: Joseph Ritson, Gammer Gurton's Garland (1794)


The most common version:

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;
So she gave them some broth without any bread;
And whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.


A kinder gentler version evolved similar to Marjorie Decker's Christian Mother Goose Collection printed in 1978. I have seen this in contemporary collections.

There was an old woman
Who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children
She didn’t know what to do.
She gave them some broth
And a big slice of bread,
Kissed them all soundly
And sent them to bed.
* Mother Goose Club version, link


A more recent version changes the rhyme altogether.

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe,
which wasn’t too bad when the winter winds blew.
But the strong summer sun was too hot to handle,
so she packed up her stuff and moved to a sandal.
* Larry Cohen and Steve Zweig, Mother Goose Makeover by Bruce Lansky link


Remember this one?

Georgie Porgie, Puddin' and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry,
When the boys came out to play
Georgie Porgie ran away.


Today's makeover again changes the story, but comforts mothers.

Georgie Porgie, handsome guy,
Won’t kiss the girls, and so they cry.
It breaks their hearts—he loves another.
He’s only five; he loves his mother.
* Bruce Lansky


Writers and experts have analyzed fairy tales, nursery rhymes, and children's stories in voluminous detail.  Anthropologist David Lancy argues the old woman is a message about "unchecked fertility" and makes a case for "quality over quantity" when having children (link)!  Albert Jack says that the rhyme was about King George II who had eight children with Queen Caroline and was referred to as the "old woman" because his wife had all the power (Secret Meaning of Nursery Rhymes link ).

These are interesting but I always think of the old woman and how my own children are insolent more often than I'd like, not just at night. And I consider the phrase "whipped then all soundly" and whether the politically correct version "kissed them all soundly" is better. 

Is it?



Life with children

I see a mother in the restaurant, pleading with her child to sit, behave, be quiet; and another woman's son at a service running up and down the aisle, hanging off the pew; a frustrated lady at the store beseeching her toddler to stop screaming then threatening this and threatening that and finally bartering. Teachers have these same issues in class and parents suggest the teacher is the problem, ask for class changes, or complain to the administration. 

Meanwhile writers "clean up" the stories, the rhymes, and tell politically acceptable drivel meant to shield children.

But kids are smart.

They see.  They have better access to the world than we did.

Folk tales, legends, and fairy tales change with the times and that is their nature. Sheltering children from truths, scary endings, evil doing, cruelty and violence is contrary to their very aim.  Grimm said even the cruelest tales had value, didactic in nature, they provide a moral for readers, adult and child alike. Besides, the lurid dark parts are often the most exciting.

Whipping children, getting eaten by a witch or wolf, and dying from the cold are common fodder for these stories.  (Woman who lived in a shoe, Hansel & Gretel, Red Riding Hood, Little Match Girl).

********

The next morning David came downstairs and walked over to me.  He hugged me and put his head against my chest. 

"I'm sorry I didn't do what you asked last night." 

Hiking With Your Dog: Rocky Peak Ridge & Giant Mountain

Belle is a five year old boxer, all muscle and tireless.   She is a good running companion who keeps pace easily enough on three to five mile runs.

We wanted to include her on a day hike in the Adirondacks. But dogs, like people, need to prepare. She would carry her own water and food so we got her saddle bags.  It took several tries to get the right size and fit.

Belle's first summit hike with daypack, Link to Ruffwear


When we put it over her head, pulled her leg in the harness and buckled it on, she gave us a quiet stare and remained standing, looking puzzled and taken aback with her predicament, a first after 35 dog years on this planet. 

You could see her asking with her eyes. What kind of owners are you?

I told her she was in good company and shared the boxer's history of service to the military. Motionless, her facial expression had a Rodney Dangerfield exasperation. 

Two nights before our hike, we strapped the harness on for a while and the night before, we put it on twice, first for half an hour and then for forty-five minutes.   That day we included a bag of food, collapsible bowl, treats, and a liter of water in her pack.

Belle reminded me of a saddled horse, closing her eyes while standing.  She had no plans to sit, much less lie down in this get-up and she turned away from us in quiet protest.  The third time we coaxed her down and she set her big head on the floor, jowls first, a sad acceptance in her eyes. 

If she only knew the adventures ahead.

Our hike included two summits via a more difficult trail with scrambling rock.  The Lake Placid website had notes on the hike to Rocky Peak Ridge.

Families with young children: Not recommended

Experienced hiker: Via Giant: 3 hrs to summit; From Route 9: 5 hours to summit; Traverse: 8-9 hours

Out of Shape Hiker:  Not recommended  (Link to Rocky Peak Ridge)

Did we heed this last note? We ignored the first comment about families because our kids are better hikers than us, but the "out-of-shape" modifier felt personal, you know, like a heckler calling out epithets. For better or worse, sometimes what you lack in skill you make up in confidence. 

We climbed Giant Mountain before so that helped; there were no ladders but some rock scrambling.  Belle was hesitant the first mile, especially on the larger rock. She discovered her strength and four legged ease, but didn't allow for her bags, often catching them on roots.  She whined if we stretched out along the trail and would travel back and forth to check on us.  My son said she probably hiked twice the distance that day.




Belle finds soft spot on trail

It took four hours to reach the first summit, but not until we hiked down off Giant Mountain into the col, or the dip, between the summits.  I invested in hiking poles and used them for the first time on steep wet rock.

Let me share this helpful information, this was not smart. Do not use poles for the first time on steep wet rock.

There are moments on the trail which make you question your motives and your sanity. It rained the day before and the trail was muddy and wet, water running down much of it, making the rock slippery. Beware of black rock.  Black rock is wet rock and even on the slightest inclines, it's simple to slip.

Here's something else I learned: poles don't help when you're already horizontal. 

My hiking pants were made of technical fabric which meant they would dry fast but there was no cushion for my backside tumbling down the stone and mud, the clinking of my poles behind me, my feet bringing me to a stop in a puddle of muck at the base of the slide.

Belle hopped down and sniffed in my direction, her saddlebags a part of her profile. 

I sneered.  Not at the dog, or the day which was sunny and cool, no.  It was age. Frailty. I thought I was fit, worse, I thought I was an athlete. 

So, let me share my surprise when the trail got me, yes you guessed it, AGAIN.  This time I slid on the mud and roots along the rock face until my leg caught hard enough to stop the momentum of my body's mass. Crumbled into such a state, my knee at my chin with arms askew, images flashed through my head and I could see myself at the camp sitting by the lake, paddling along a tranquil shoreline, I dunno maybe something a bit less trying, like getting my eyebrows waxed. 

I saw a flash in my peripheral vision.

Belle stepped, pranced mind you, along the same rock. 

And it's then I realized that God made mountain goats with four legs for a reason.  Gazelles, deer, dogs for Pete's sake, were made for this.  I, anatomically, am not. 

Our summit on Rocky Peak was well earned and Belle sought out a soft spot.  I envied her grace.  For longer breaks, we took off her harness.  She ate her food right off the warm rock at the summit, ignorant of the view. The rest of us took in an almost 360 degree view of the surrounding mountains, then collapsed.

Rest on Rocky Peak Ridge summit

 

Belle takes a break

Coming down Giant into the col was the hardest part of the hike.  It was easier to go up, strenuous and tiring yes, but my joints could manage going up, there's always something to hang on to. 

Thank goodness for my new Altra trail runners.  After our last hike (Hiking Mt. Colvin link) I made the investment in the slipper-like, "large toe box" of the orange Altra Lone Peak with "zero drop" between heel and ball of foot.  They kept my toes from getting crushed on the downhill climbs. Plus they sound as cool as they look and feel.

Five of us at Giant Mountain's summit survey marker

Belle was popular on the trail. She adopted a protective role, nipping at the men and growling when others approached. Folks were intrigued to see a hiking dog.  We ascended Giant Mountain again on our return and a man told us that he couldn't imagine hiking with a boxer.

Boxers are flatulent he said and it must have been quite an experience with her.

The memories from that day are too many to enumerate but add this to the lot.  We were glad to know it wasn't because of the hiking, though we learned early to stay clear of Belle's gassy "backblasts" and give her a lead.

Not all trails permit dogs, but Giant Wilderness does as long as they are leashed. We were alone most of the time and Belle had her liberty. She earned her hiking legs by the second summit, Giant Mountain.

Belle on her second summit, Giant Mountain

Belle hiked two mountains (4627' and 4420') in 11.5 hours, with multiple ascents and descents over 3050 feet elevation change.  She slept well, ate well, but had sore spots under her front legs.

In a photo I saw afterwards, as I made the descent down Giant with my new poles, there she was.  Belle.  Just behind, watching me.

Belle on Giant Mountain